It might just take a miracle...

For everyone in my house to sleep through the night. I'm awake at nearly four while everyone else is snoring. But I'm not up because of the snoring! I am up still thinking about the dream I just had, although I wish I weren't! In my dream, my childhood best friend, Jessie, and I were shopping for burritos (? I don't really even care for burritos !?) in south Alabama at the exit where we used to meet every summer. See, we'd stayed in touch from the third grade all the way through my first year of college. We had a small gap of about four years in between my Judson years and now, but for the most part, we've been friends all of our lives. Anyhoo, we were at the Brewton exit off I-65, which is about midway from Prattville to Navarre Beach, Florida. And so we were at our familiar meeting place searching for the perfect burrito. We made a pact, even shook hands on it, that we would not stop searching for this ideal burrito, no matter how far we had to go, no matter what the cost. Jessie suggested that I bring my Anatomy and Physiology homework because she thought it might be a while--she was very particular about her burritos. So Jessie and I set out on a cross-country burrito bounty hunt. We stopped at every state and had a stranger quiz us with flashcards. And then we found the perfect burrito in Idaho, of all places, but our stranger would not give it to us until we'd given the correct definition for Simple Cuboidal Epithelial tissue. We ended up snatching our burrito and running away from the stranger, who, at this point, was getting pretty ticked that we couldn't give him the right answer! Then we were reported for stealing the burrito and we ended up on the Most Wanted List...

I woke up somewhere after learning someone had tipped off the police on our location!

What a strange, STRANGE dream! I wonder what Freud would have to say about that one?

My child is finally sleeping after having four very difficult nights and I'm awake blogging on my quest for some golden burrito. Yep.

Sweet Dreams! I pray you all find what you are looking for in your dreams! And PS. New Englanders seem to be particularly agressive. According to my burrito dream, anyway. Geeze.

Rant on Rudeness

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Everyone! Stick to the list!!!

So I am feeling a little crazy lately. Whether it's because I've been off the Effexor (yes, I need anxiety meds and no, spraying lavender scented stuff doesn't help!) or whether it's because I crave organization so much, I don't know. I remember as a child and as an adolescent, even, cleaning my room before bed every night. I absolutely couldn't sleep if things were out of place. And SUPRISE! I'm still that way. I still clean before bed. And guess what else? I write a list every day. I feel like my world might just collapse if I don't have my little paper stability. Hmm. Now that I'm "writing" this out, I'm sounding a taddly bit OCD. That may be so. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I very much like for things to go as planned. Everyone should color between the lines and everything needs to go in exactly the order that is listed in the church bulletin. I get a little panicky when something unexpected gets thrown into the mix. Don't sing all four verses of "How Great Thou Art" if says to only sing 1,2, and 4. There are always people who are late catching on and the whole last verse sounds mushed up and chaotic.

As much as I need order and lists and cleanliness, I have had none of those this week so far. I feel like maybe I'm being taught some lessons. I have been up every morning for the past four days at three am with Hudson, me trying to hold him while he screams bloody murder. This has been like clockwork for us. I've even started waking up before the screaming begins, which means that this is becoming a schedule of sorts. Noooooo!!!

Needless to say, the lack of sleep is making me delusional, grumpy, and just a downright mess. My house has been turned inside out and upside down I feel like (please, ignore the desire to sing "Tag Team, Back Again. Check it direct it, let's begin..."). My list is completely unchanged since Friday...nothing has been done, including my studying. There are five chapters to be read and homework and tests and AGHHHHH!!

But you know what? It's okay. It's just okay! I had this moment today while at the doctor with Hudson when I realized, "I'm not special..." I don't mean that like, "aww, poor girl, she has low self-esteem!" No. I mean really, we are all the same. We all have the same craziness in this life at some point or another. There are days you'll have like I've had today: un-showered, hair unwashed and in a pony tail, a lowered tolerance for stupidity, and that crazy, Deliverance-ish look in your eyes... No doubt, we're all at the same place at some time or another. And that makes me feel good. I feel a little calmer knowing that quiet, organized days are the norm and that what I'm experiencing, just as you have at some point, is just NORMAL craziness.

So on that note, thanks for letting me talk out my craziness! And I can't ever forget to thank the people who make this blog posting business possible for me: My generous neighbors. They don't even know how kind they are! I should build them a cake. Yes, I think I'll build them a cake.

Happy Tuesday, everyone:)

Changes

Last week I said to the world, "I feel boring." And I still do, but I'm adding this blog to my life, EVEN if know one reads it. I'm doing this for me--it's an honest effort to be less boring, to be connected, to be un-rutted.

And because I've never been great with transitions, I'll jump right in. Major life changes are life's way of striating us. My dad has been known to say, "The days are long, but the years are short." I get it. He always asks me if I know what that means. I do! Parents ever stop explaining, I guess...he also asks if I uderstand, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth," and I really DON'T understand that one. It just makes no sense! Anyway, I want to make the most of every day. I want to soak up every moment. And maybe I can learn a few things along the way.